The Graying Rose
by Kingdom of Awkward
Summary: Crowley has been in love with Halt from the very beginning- so what are his thoughts during Halt's wedding? Oneshot.


Pauline and Halt danced gracefully in the center of the ballroom, swaying and stepping perfectly in time to the music. Their coordination was impressive, Crowley decided, although he felt slightly cheated because he wouldn't be able to tease Halt about his dancing. Crowley shook his head with a smile, dusty-looking red hair shining slightly in the dim light. Crowley had stationed himself in the balcony overlooking the room to watch the opening dance, and to be alone with his thoughts.

He was happy for Halt and Pauline and knew that they were an excellent match for each other. Ever since that day in Baron Arald's office when Halt and Pauline had first laid eyes on one another, Crowley had felt the romance blooming between them. His suspicions were confirmed when Halt had reacted the way he did to Crowley's teasing the next day. Crowley had been a little surprised by the reaction, but not entirely by the news. He'd expected it.

Crowley remembered the first day he himself met Halt. It had been a life-changing moment, really. Crowley didn't think he would have ever tried to stop Morgarath on his own had it not been for Halt's encouragement. The future of Araluen had been uncertain, and the scales were tipped by one Hibernian man. He'd been very thankful for Halt's good judgment and quick thinking countless times in his life and was happy to have him as his best friend.

But sometimes he wasn't happy with that arrangement. Sometimes, when he was alone, Crowley allowed himself to imagine what it would be like to be more than friends.

He'd first realized he had these extra feelings when Halt was crossing the river to get into Castle Wildriver and had slipped under. The crashing realization that Crowley couldn't live without the Hibernian had hit Crowley like Cropper had run him over while going full speed. At the time, Crowley hadn't been certain what the feelings had meant, and he also hadn't had a lot of time to dwell on them at the time.

The realization that he was in love with the man didn't come until Halt had brought him the news of their mentor's death. As he and Halt grieved together, Crowley thought about how much the man had come to mean to him. It was more than just friendship.

 _I'm in love with Halt._

The words still resonated in Crowley's head like it was the first time he'd ever thought them.

Those precious, bittersweet words. The fantasies in his head of what could never be.

Crowley understood well what he meant to Halt. He was Halt's closest friend, almost like a brother in Halt's eyes. He was not, nor would he ever, be seen as he wanted to be seen.

So Crowley had put aside his feelings, and continued to work his job diligently. He knew it confused the members of the Corps and Duncan that he seemed to have no interest in marriage. He brushed off their questions with a grin and an "I've just never found the right girl!" Which wasn't even lying, Halt wasn't female.

Eventually, people had stopped asking and accepted his singleness.

When Crowley had received word of Halt's to be marriage to Pauline, he was overjoyed! Why wouldn't he be? They were made for one another. Those thoughts, however, didn't prevent himself from crying himself to sleep as the stars and moon sadly watched over him through the window.

The next morning, he began the marriage preparations with a smile and cheerful words, feeling more alone in his life than he ever had before. He had knives made for Halt as a wedding present and went about making the ceremonial Ranger uniform. He was determined Halt's wedding would be the best wedding it could be.

He even offered to walk Pauline up the aisle, seeing as that would probably be the closest he ever got to doing so himself. His offer was accepted, and he experienced pain as he had never felt it -all hidden behind a smile- as he walked up the aisle to a smiling Halt, but the smile was not for him.

Crowley stood there with his thoughts, smiling gently down at the happy couple beneath him through tear-glazed vision. Crowley stared at his closest friend and only love, with the music softly reaching his ears and the moonlight behind him, feeling only happiness for Halt.

 **This was my first ever fanfiction, please feel free to review and critique my work!**


End file.
